The Template LinkedIn Reply 2018 Edition, is now available at all good stores and one URL

Long-time readers will already know I’m a little different, and one of my eccentricities is trying to be nice to all the random strangers to want to connect to me on LinkedIn.

Over the years I’ve gradually refined a template response which I copy, paste and send to almost everyone I don’t know who hits me up to connect.

A few versions later, I started sharing it with friends, and it now has something of a following.

The last version was March 2017 and I’m pleased to announce that today I’m launching the 2018 edition. Here’s a quick non-interactive demo. Nothing happens when you click on it, but I went to quite a bit of trouble and used four different colours of underline to show you where the magic happens.

Now available as a colourful JPG, it’s also available as a public shared Google Doc so you can not only copy-and-paste it for your own use, you can read the comments I’ve added to explain what I’m trying to achieve with each key phrase, deftly portraying myself as a nice guy with good intentions who is nevertheless probably not going to connect with you on LinkedIn, though I might one day be up for a chat, if you’ve actually got something to talk about that I should care about.

Early beta customers tell us they love that this 2018 version is greatly improved: faster, lighter, more powerful, has longer battery life, and is almost entirely guaranteed to be less likely to make recipients flip-out than previous versions.

Yes, some people take it as a personal affront that I have chosen to decline their LinkedIn connection request, and challenge me to a debate on whether I understand how LinkedIn works, or explain that I’ve just made the biggest mistake of my entire career, but it’s too late to try and apologise now, and just wait until their best friend the Director General of the IMF/United Nations/Superman hears about this, because they’re going to be really pissed and make the remaining years of my life a living hell. I kid you not.

The 2018 edition of my Template LinkedIn Reply is free with every purchase of a large, extra large or really-ridiculously-huge drink, the Blended Family Size Meal (that’s a meal for blended families, not blended meals for a family, or a meal comprising a family that has been put through a blender), Microsoft Office Totally Rad Edition, and the Tesla Model 3. And also to anybody who was annoyed enough by LinkedIn to read this far. Get your copy today:

Update: this Cheatsheet app for your iOS devices lets you save and recall one or more default text templates. I find it helps me save a lot of time with replying to people who want to connect on LinkedIn.